11 Things a Narcissist Will Do to Undermine Your Confidence


Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally challenging and psychologically draining. One of the most insidious ways a narcissist exerts control is by undermining your confidence and self-esteem. Their manipulation tactics are often subtle and can leave you feeling confused, powerless, and doubting your own worth. In this article, we’ll explore 11 common behaviors that narcissists use to erode your self-confidence.

  1. Gaslighting: Narcissists frequently engage in gaslighting, where they distort or deny the truth of past events, making you doubt your own memories and perceptions.
  2. Constant Criticism: They habitually criticize and belittle you, pointing out your flaws and weaknesses, even if they are minor or imagined.
  3. Projecting Blame: When they make mistakes or behave badly, narcissists often deflect blame onto you, causing you to feel responsible for their actions.
  4. Manipulative Flattery: At times, they may employ excessive flattery or love bombing to make you feel special and then withdraw it abruptly, keeping you off balance and seeking their approval.
  5. Invalidation: Narcissists dismiss your feelings and emotions, telling you that you’re overreacting or too sensitive, which can make you question your own emotions.
  6. Competing for Attention: They frequently demand center stage and become competitive for attention, leaving you feeling unheard and unimportant.
  7. Silent Treatment: Narcissists employ the silent treatment as a form of punishment, causing you to doubt yourself and desperately seek their approval.
  8. Isolation: They may isolate you from friends and family, making you feel like you can only rely on them, which heightens your dependence on their approval.
  9. Triangulation: Narcissists often involve third parties, such as ex-partners or other friends, to create jealousy and insecurity in your relationship.
  10. Withholding Affection: They might withhold affection, attention, or validation, making you constantly seek their love and approval.
  11. Pathological Lying: Narcissists often tell elaborate lies to manipulate situations and make you doubt your own instincts and judgments.


Recognizing these behaviors is the first step in protecting your self-esteem and well-being when dealing with a narcissist. It’s crucial to remember that you are not the problem, and these tactics are a reflection of the narcissist’s need for control and validation. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you regain your confidence and establish healthy boundaries when dealing with narcissistic individuals. Your self-esteem is precious, and it’s essential to protect it from those who seek to undermine it.

Leave a Comment